Thursday, July 30, 2009
I Need To Let Them Go
Hi, I am still here. We took off to the mountains for a few days to celebrate my babies 6th birthday. I can't believe she is 6! We got back Monday night and went to the beach all day Tuesday. Yesterday I tried to dig out from the mess of the suitcases, etc.
In between all of this I have been calling agencies and gathering information. I don't want to go into all the details but the path we are on does not look promising. I have been praying for guidance, direction and peace. All of which is coming to us. Just not the way I had hoped. I have had the feeling lately that I need to let them go or I may go mad. I just can't go on like this.
Last night I had a dream about the children and they came to me smiling and saying goodbye. They said they were going to be fine. I am not one to put to much emphasis on my dreams, usually, but this one was so real and came on the heels of some bad news. My feelings are I need to let them go....even though I don't want to.
I was thrilled today when the three families from our agency who had court passed on the first try. However, my happiness was overshadowed some by my anger at our agency. These families had kids from Holy Savior as well. Why couldn't they just get us and the other family through court before they stopped working with this orphanage. I will never understand this. When I ask the question there are no clear answers given.
I may never have the answers I want.
I have been crying again today. This whole thing is just so so hard.
My friend Roxanne was one of the families who passed today. They will pick up their son Eric in 3 short weeks. We are both so happy. However, the happiness is marred a little by the fact that Eric's best buddy, our Ayele, will not be coming home with him. One child has won the lottery and gets to come home to his forever family. The other does not.
Again, I just don't understand.
Goodbye sweet children. I am so sorry I will never get to be your mommy. I had so many hugs stored up for you. Please know I will be praying for you every single day for the rest of my life. You are both so beautiful, I know in my heart, you will have a forever family some day.
In between all of this I have been calling agencies and gathering information. I don't want to go into all the details but the path we are on does not look promising. I have been praying for guidance, direction and peace. All of which is coming to us. Just not the way I had hoped. I have had the feeling lately that I need to let them go or I may go mad. I just can't go on like this.
Last night I had a dream about the children and they came to me smiling and saying goodbye. They said they were going to be fine. I am not one to put to much emphasis on my dreams, usually, but this one was so real and came on the heels of some bad news. My feelings are I need to let them go....even though I don't want to.
I was thrilled today when the three families from our agency who had court passed on the first try. However, my happiness was overshadowed some by my anger at our agency. These families had kids from Holy Savior as well. Why couldn't they just get us and the other family through court before they stopped working with this orphanage. I will never understand this. When I ask the question there are no clear answers given.
I may never have the answers I want.
I have been crying again today. This whole thing is just so so hard.
My friend Roxanne was one of the families who passed today. They will pick up their son Eric in 3 short weeks. We are both so happy. However, the happiness is marred a little by the fact that Eric's best buddy, our Ayele, will not be coming home with him. One child has won the lottery and gets to come home to his forever family. The other does not.
Again, I just don't understand.
Goodbye sweet children. I am so sorry I will never get to be your mommy. I had so many hugs stored up for you. Please know I will be praying for you every single day for the rest of my life. You are both so beautiful, I know in my heart, you will have a forever family some day.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Good News/Bad News
I spoke with Gladney this morning and the director told me they no longer work with Holy Savior. They did not renew their contract with them. She did not seem surprised that the children had been taken back as she has heard of this happening before. She said I should trust CHI and their reasons, if he does not have the paperwork they may not be adoptable. Something else she said she sees at many orphanages in Ethiopia. She knew of Tseguy, CHI's in country representative, and said she trusted if he felt he had to take them back their was really no other option. She would not elaborate on why they stopped working with them but did elude to the paperwork problem.
For better news, I spoke with Lori at HOPE adoptions and the director who is currently in Ethiopia thought he might be able to help us. Their in country rep is out of the city until Sunday night/Monday and when she comes back he was going to ask her about Holy Savior and try and get some more information on the director and their problems. I asked if he could send someone there to check on the children and I was told they would do their best. They will call me back Monday or Tuesday with more information.
So that is where I am at. We will see what next week brings.
I feel at peace. I have given this over to God. If he wants the children to be a part of our family he will provide the way. If not, I will welcome another child into my heart, without ever forgetting or praying for Ayele and Kasanesh for the rest of my life.
I'm feeling like our family needs a little away time. I'm going to call my sister this afternoon and see if we can head up to the cool mountains this weekend for a little R&R. Nothing like spending some time in God's beautiful mountains to renew the spirit and heal the heart.
As always, thank you for the support and prayers. They are working. I have a calm that can only come from the Father. Thank you my loyal bloggy buddies!
For better news, I spoke with Lori at HOPE adoptions and the director who is currently in Ethiopia thought he might be able to help us. Their in country rep is out of the city until Sunday night/Monday and when she comes back he was going to ask her about Holy Savior and try and get some more information on the director and their problems. I asked if he could send someone there to check on the children and I was told they would do their best. They will call me back Monday or Tuesday with more information.
So that is where I am at. We will see what next week brings.
I feel at peace. I have given this over to God. If he wants the children to be a part of our family he will provide the way. If not, I will welcome another child into my heart, without ever forgetting or praying for Ayele and Kasanesh for the rest of my life.
I'm feeling like our family needs a little away time. I'm going to call my sister this afternoon and see if we can head up to the cool mountains this weekend for a little R&R. Nothing like spending some time in God's beautiful mountains to renew the spirit and heal the heart.
As always, thank you for the support and prayers. They are working. I have a calm that can only come from the Father. Thank you my loyal bloggy buddies!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Numb
This morning when we got the call from our agency and they told us they had some bad news my first thoughts were that one of the children had died. I couldn't imagine what other calamity could have occurred to have both the director and our social worker call us at the same time.
I immediately asked them if everything was OK and I was told no, it indeed was not.
When I heard them say they had to send the children back to their original orphanage I felt such relief that they were alive and OK I didn't respond to that particular piece of information for a few seconds.
What do you mean you have sent our children back? I kept hearing that sentence over and over as they were trying to explain to me what had happened as I wept into the receiver of the phone.
The orphanage director is not doing his job.
We sent the children back.
We cannot work with him any longer.
We sent the children back.
We are so sorry this has happened.
We sent the children back.
On and on it went.
I can't remember more than a few words of what was said.
However, the few words I remember have lodged into the pit of my stomach.
My children will never come home.
My heart was so fully devoted to those children already. They are my children. That will never change.
Perhaps the pain will soften. My understanding of the situation will grow.
However, a small piece of my heart will always belong to them. The children I was sure God had picked out just for us.
Two boys who had learned to love each other in the orphanage and had become the best of friends. They slept together each night and were best buddies. They were to come home to two families that loved them and who would make sure their friendship would continue.
Tonight they sleep alone. One sent back to their original orphanage high in the hills. The other sleeping in the same bed they had shared unaware that his new family has a court date in ten short days.
One boy coming home to his new family. The other with no family.
I am trying to hold onto Romans 8:28 tonight. I don't want to fall into the deep hole of despair. Lord please make some good out of this awful day. Amen.
I immediately asked them if everything was OK and I was told no, it indeed was not.
When I heard them say they had to send the children back to their original orphanage I felt such relief that they were alive and OK I didn't respond to that particular piece of information for a few seconds.
What do you mean you have sent our children back? I kept hearing that sentence over and over as they were trying to explain to me what had happened as I wept into the receiver of the phone.
The orphanage director is not doing his job.
We sent the children back.
We cannot work with him any longer.
We sent the children back.
We are so sorry this has happened.
We sent the children back.
On and on it went.
I can't remember more than a few words of what was said.
However, the few words I remember have lodged into the pit of my stomach.
My children will never come home.
My heart was so fully devoted to those children already. They are my children. That will never change.
Perhaps the pain will soften. My understanding of the situation will grow.
However, a small piece of my heart will always belong to them. The children I was sure God had picked out just for us.
Two boys who had learned to love each other in the orphanage and had become the best of friends. They slept together each night and were best buddies. They were to come home to two families that loved them and who would make sure their friendship would continue.
Tonight they sleep alone. One sent back to their original orphanage high in the hills. The other sleeping in the same bed they had shared unaware that his new family has a court date in ten short days.
One boy coming home to his new family. The other with no family.
I am trying to hold onto Romans 8:28 tonight. I don't want to fall into the deep hole of despair. Lord please make some good out of this awful day. Amen.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Sucked Into The Sadness
If you know anyone who is adopting from Ethiopia you have probably heard about the abandoned children's cases. If not, this is the story in brief. One agency was found to be putting children through court who were not actually abandoned or orphans. This stopped all adoptions of children who had been abandoned in the capital of Addis Abba. What this meant is that if you were referred a child and had a court date, or were waiting for a court date you were put into limbo. We have sixteen families at our agency that have been waiting to hear something about their children for months with no word.
There was an investigation and it has been completed. Only one agency was involved and we had been told that the abandonment cases would begin to be heard so these precious children and their families could be united.
We were expecting some good news this week.
However, this was just announced:
Two US agencies announced today that MOWA will be closing for training, effective tomorrow and lasting until July 24th. One agency reminded their clients that MOWA handles both pre- and post-court paperwork; the closing not only affects abandonment cases waiting for new court dates, but it affects all cases waiting for court dates, cases scheduled for that time, as well as people who have already passed court and are waiting for travel clearance.
We received confirmation from our agency this morning that this news is indeed true.
This seems so unbelievably cruel to these families. They have already waited two months for news on their children and now MOWA is closing? There had been some rumors that the families would pass without being given court dates. I pray this is true. I don't want them to have to wait one minute longer to hold their children in their arms.
What does this mean for us?
It means our prayers of news of a court date this week have been crushed. We won't find anything out until after the 24th.
It means our sons friend, Eric, whose family was suppose to have a court date on the 14th will have to wait longer also. I am so sorry Roxanne.
I had dreams of my children swimming in the pool this summer and bonding over smores and campfires.
Most likely it will be Fall before they come home now.
This is a picture of the big kids shoes outside their room at the House of Hope. My friend Angie sent it to me. I find myself staring at the shoes wondering which pair belong to our children? What colors are thier favorites? Who are their friends?
There was an investigation and it has been completed. Only one agency was involved and we had been told that the abandonment cases would begin to be heard so these precious children and their families could be united.
We were expecting some good news this week.
However, this was just announced:
Two US agencies announced today that MOWA will be closing for training, effective tomorrow and lasting until July 24th. One agency reminded their clients that MOWA handles both pre- and post-court paperwork; the closing not only affects abandonment cases waiting for new court dates, but it affects all cases waiting for court dates, cases scheduled for that time, as well as people who have already passed court and are waiting for travel clearance.
We received confirmation from our agency this morning that this news is indeed true.
This seems so unbelievably cruel to these families. They have already waited two months for news on their children and now MOWA is closing? There had been some rumors that the families would pass without being given court dates. I pray this is true. I don't want them to have to wait one minute longer to hold their children in their arms.
What does this mean for us?
It means our prayers of news of a court date this week have been crushed. We won't find anything out until after the 24th.
It means our sons friend, Eric, whose family was suppose to have a court date on the 14th will have to wait longer also. I am so sorry Roxanne.
I had dreams of my children swimming in the pool this summer and bonding over smores and campfires.
Most likely it will be Fall before they come home now.
This is a picture of the big kids shoes outside their room at the House of Hope. My friend Angie sent it to me. I find myself staring at the shoes wondering which pair belong to our children? What colors are thier favorites? Who are their friends?
Questions I will have to wait a little longer to ask them.
My heart is broken over this whole situation.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
You Are All The Best!!!
Thanks so much for all the kind words and phone calls yesterday. We have the best support group ever!
Thanks also to Angie and Dee for their wonderful information about our children. They met them last month when they went to the House of Hope to pick up their daughter and son. It is so wonderful to have so many people who care about our kids. They told us all about how wonderful they are and every bit of information was like gold for our family. I will forever be thankful to both of you for your kindness.
I also had the pleasure of speaking with Roxanne over the phone. Her little guy, who is five, is also at the House of Hope and they are waiting for a court date to pick him up. I had been praying that some of our children's friends would be adopted by families that live in California or in a state nearby so they could keep in contact. Roxanne and I were so excited to find out that we only live about 90 miles from each other. Yippee!! Not only that, we have so much in common it was amazing. Can any one else see God's hand in all of this??? Isn't He awesome!
I am going to Las Vegas this weekend with Zach and the girls for a baseball tournament. With all the excitement going on the last few days I have done nothing to prepare. I was at the store last night at 10:00 p.m.. buying Dave and the boys who are staying behind some food to eat while we are gone. Garrett has all-star practice this weekend so Dave is staying home with him and Tyler.
We are leaving in 2 hours and I need to go and get an oil change, buy some toothpaste, pack mine and Paige's bag and make a reservation at a hotel. It would be nice to have somewhere to sleep tonight. Nothing like waiting until the last minute.
Oh well, Zach's game isn't until 9 tomorrow morning. It's a 4 hour drive. I figure I have plenty of time.
And she's off...........................................
Thanks also to Angie and Dee for their wonderful information about our children. They met them last month when they went to the House of Hope to pick up their daughter and son. It is so wonderful to have so many people who care about our kids. They told us all about how wonderful they are and every bit of information was like gold for our family. I will forever be thankful to both of you for your kindness.
I also had the pleasure of speaking with Roxanne over the phone. Her little guy, who is five, is also at the House of Hope and they are waiting for a court date to pick him up. I had been praying that some of our children's friends would be adopted by families that live in California or in a state nearby so they could keep in contact. Roxanne and I were so excited to find out that we only live about 90 miles from each other. Yippee!! Not only that, we have so much in common it was amazing. Can any one else see God's hand in all of this??? Isn't He awesome!
I am going to Las Vegas this weekend with Zach and the girls for a baseball tournament. With all the excitement going on the last few days I have done nothing to prepare. I was at the store last night at 10:00 p.m.. buying Dave and the boys who are staying behind some food to eat while we are gone. Garrett has all-star practice this weekend so Dave is staying home with him and Tyler.
We are leaving in 2 hours and I need to go and get an oil change, buy some toothpaste, pack mine and Paige's bag and make a reservation at a hotel. It would be nice to have somewhere to sleep tonight. Nothing like waiting until the last minute.
Oh well, Zach's game isn't until 9 tomorrow morning. It's a 4 hour drive. I figure I have plenty of time.
And she's off...........................................
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Boring School
Tyler seems to like his new school. His only complaint is that the school is full of "nerds". People are nice, just a little "strange".
He said that one kid walks around with 6 decks of cards in his pockets.
Well, maybe that is a little different.
However I still prefer the "nerdy" school to the previous high school.
God has blessed our decision to move to the new school. One of my main concerns was that this school is 30 miles from our house. Those of you who have kids know how hard it is to get them all to just the most basic of activities on time. Traveling 30 minutes each way was going to pose a large problem.
However, our God has it handled.
We take two days a week and another family takes the other three days. I only have to pick him up on Mondays, another family brings him home on the other days.
Yeah God! This is such a blessing.
In adoption news; Our agency gave out 10 referrals at the beginning of this week. That means our magic number is now 58. That is our overall number which doesn't really tell us all that much. Those in front of us could be asking for a different gender or age range. We really have no idea.
It is fun to have a number, and count down as referrals come in. I mailed of the addendum our social work did for our home study today which means we are now approved for 2 children up to the age of 8. Our agency doesn't place out of birth order (generally) but I really felt God leading us to make this change to our paperwork. Now it is all up to him.
I pray everyday for our new children. I can't wait to hold them in my arms.
It has been kind of a stressful week with some things going on that I can't share yet. A friend of mine sent me the picture below this week. It made me laugh.
A trip to the spa sounds wonderful right about now. However, I think I am going to have to settle for a nice hot shower until I can work that into my schedule (and my budget!).
He said that one kid walks around with 6 decks of cards in his pockets.
Well, maybe that is a little different.
However I still prefer the "nerdy" school to the previous high school.
God has blessed our decision to move to the new school. One of my main concerns was that this school is 30 miles from our house. Those of you who have kids know how hard it is to get them all to just the most basic of activities on time. Traveling 30 minutes each way was going to pose a large problem.
However, our God has it handled.
We take two days a week and another family takes the other three days. I only have to pick him up on Mondays, another family brings him home on the other days.
Yeah God! This is such a blessing.
In adoption news; Our agency gave out 10 referrals at the beginning of this week. That means our magic number is now 58. That is our overall number which doesn't really tell us all that much. Those in front of us could be asking for a different gender or age range. We really have no idea.
It is fun to have a number, and count down as referrals come in. I mailed of the addendum our social work did for our home study today which means we are now approved for 2 children up to the age of 8. Our agency doesn't place out of birth order (generally) but I really felt God leading us to make this change to our paperwork. Now it is all up to him.
I pray everyday for our new children. I can't wait to hold them in my arms.
It has been kind of a stressful week with some things going on that I can't share yet. A friend of mine sent me the picture below this week. It made me laugh.
A trip to the spa sounds wonderful right about now. However, I think I am going to have to settle for a nice hot shower until I can work that into my schedule (and my budget!).
Labels: Adoption, Ethiopia, High School
Thursday, November 06, 2008
The Happiest Place On Earth
Yesterday Samantha and I had a hair appointment in the early afternoon. We got very little school done in the morning and then headed off to our appointment. Some days it seems like we get so much done, and others not so much. I guess it all evens out in the end.
Anyway, after our hair appointments it was already 1:30 so we decided to go get Paige out of school a little early and spend the rest of the day at Disneyland.
This is one of my favorite things about homeschooling, I love how spontaneous your life can become. I'm trying to finagle a way to buy a RV so we can take off on trips and go explore when ever we want to. That, however, will not be happening until after we pay for our adoption.
Speaking of our upcoming adoption.....the referrals seems to be really pouring in the last few weeks. I'm pretty sure we won't get a referral until after the first of the year but it is really exciting to celebrate with all the other families.
I have been having some of the "normal" anxiety and doubts about this adoption lately. Will I feel an immediate connection to these children like I did my biological children? What will they think of me? Will they bond with there new siblings? I have been reading a lot and know all of these questions are normal. Ninety percent of the time I am excited and can't wait, and then there is the other ten percent when I worry and fret.
When I was pregnant with the other children I always had crazy dreams about my delivery. They were always awful. I would deliver and the doctor would hand me my baby. The baby was always a puppy or rabbit, etc. I was always so upset, insisting THIS WAS NOT MY BABY, but the people around me would insist it was and coo over how cute our new child was. I would wake up in a panic, crying and upset. This happened all five times I have had a baby.
Thankfully, each time I was handed an actual baby and not some furry creature after delivery.
The other night I was laying in bed with my doubts and fears, praying to God for them to go away. I drifted off to sleep and began to dream. Our entire family was in Ethiopia to pick up our little girl. We were all excited and sitting in a little room waiting for them to bring her in. A woman dressed like a nurse came in with this cute little bundle in her arms. She handed her to me. When I drew the blanket back there was a MONKEY inside. Dave and all the kids started oohing and ahhing over this cute monkey and I of course threw a fit and wanted to know where my daughter was. They all thought I was crazy and were so happy with there new little sister, I was not.
I woke up crying and upset just like I had the five times before. However, this time I smiled. Was this God's way of letting me know it was going to be OK? Things were not that different. He had our child/ren all picked out for us and they were the ones that were meant to be our children, just like the other five that we had been blessed with before.
I have never been more happy to give birth to a MONKEY. However, I warned my family that if we go to Ethiopia and they hand me a furry creature they better be just as upset as I am.
They, of course, think I am crazy. An assumption, I am pretty sure, the rest of us have already confirmed is true.
Anyway, after our hair appointments it was already 1:30 so we decided to go get Paige out of school a little early and spend the rest of the day at Disneyland.
This is one of my favorite things about homeschooling, I love how spontaneous your life can become. I'm trying to finagle a way to buy a RV so we can take off on trips and go explore when ever we want to. That, however, will not be happening until after we pay for our adoption.
Speaking of our upcoming adoption.....the referrals seems to be really pouring in the last few weeks. I'm pretty sure we won't get a referral until after the first of the year but it is really exciting to celebrate with all the other families.
I have been having some of the "normal" anxiety and doubts about this adoption lately. Will I feel an immediate connection to these children like I did my biological children? What will they think of me? Will they bond with there new siblings? I have been reading a lot and know all of these questions are normal. Ninety percent of the time I am excited and can't wait, and then there is the other ten percent when I worry and fret.
When I was pregnant with the other children I always had crazy dreams about my delivery. They were always awful. I would deliver and the doctor would hand me my baby. The baby was always a puppy or rabbit, etc. I was always so upset, insisting THIS WAS NOT MY BABY, but the people around me would insist it was and coo over how cute our new child was. I would wake up in a panic, crying and upset. This happened all five times I have had a baby.
Thankfully, each time I was handed an actual baby and not some furry creature after delivery.
The other night I was laying in bed with my doubts and fears, praying to God for them to go away. I drifted off to sleep and began to dream. Our entire family was in Ethiopia to pick up our little girl. We were all excited and sitting in a little room waiting for them to bring her in. A woman dressed like a nurse came in with this cute little bundle in her arms. She handed her to me. When I drew the blanket back there was a MONKEY inside. Dave and all the kids started oohing and ahhing over this cute monkey and I of course threw a fit and wanted to know where my daughter was. They all thought I was crazy and were so happy with there new little sister, I was not.
I woke up crying and upset just like I had the five times before. However, this time I smiled. Was this God's way of letting me know it was going to be OK? Things were not that different. He had our child/ren all picked out for us and they were the ones that were meant to be our children, just like the other five that we had been blessed with before.
I have never been more happy to give birth to a MONKEY. However, I warned my family that if we go to Ethiopia and they hand me a furry creature they better be just as upset as I am.
They, of course, think I am crazy. An assumption, I am pretty sure, the rest of us have already confirmed is true.
Labels: Adoption, Ethiopia, Home Schooling
Sunday, August 31, 2008
No Time For The Computer
This past week I have been trying to get everything done that I hadn't done this summer. To many days out by the pool and watching the Olympics with the kids means mom is seriously behind.
School starts for Paige and my high schoolers on Tuesday and we will start our first home school year with Samantha and Garrett on that same day. We have been back to school shopping, figuring out what we wanted to learn this year, and moving bedrooms around in the hopes we will get a referral very soon after all our paper work gets to Ethiopia.
Our home study agency still has not gotten me the two forms we need. The secretary actually called and said they would need $30.00 for notarization fees. Excuse me? These forms were all suppose to have been done months ago and included with the other forms we paid them $2,000 for. Lets just say I let my displeasure be known with the agency rep. If I don't receive them in Tuesday's mail I may go ballistic. If I don't post for a while you will know I have been arrested for inflicting great bodily harm upon someone.
OK, I'm only kidding. I think.
Anyways, life is crazy busy so if I am in and out for the next couple of weeks please bare with me.
Hopefully I will have some exciting news to tell you all about in the not to distant future.
School starts for Paige and my high schoolers on Tuesday and we will start our first home school year with Samantha and Garrett on that same day. We have been back to school shopping, figuring out what we wanted to learn this year, and moving bedrooms around in the hopes we will get a referral very soon after all our paper work gets to Ethiopia.
Our home study agency still has not gotten me the two forms we need. The secretary actually called and said they would need $30.00 for notarization fees. Excuse me? These forms were all suppose to have been done months ago and included with the other forms we paid them $2,000 for. Lets just say I let my displeasure be known with the agency rep. If I don't receive them in Tuesday's mail I may go ballistic. If I don't post for a while you will know I have been arrested for inflicting great bodily harm upon someone.
OK, I'm only kidding. I think.
Anyways, life is crazy busy so if I am in and out for the next couple of weeks please bare with me.
Hopefully I will have some exciting news to tell you all about in the not to distant future.
Labels: Adoption, Ethiopia, High School, Home Schooling, summer time fun
Monday, August 25, 2008
Paperwork Update
Our social worker emailed me this morning that he found the paperwork that our agency was missing and he would have it notarized today and drop it off at our house tomorrow. I am happy with that.
I was going through some paperwork this morning and found our original adoption contract with our agency. We signed the paperwork on September 12, 2007. Almost a year ago.
When we signed those forms we thought it would take us six months max to get all the paperwork together and the home study done. I kind of laugh at that now. I would be thrilled if our dossier was off to Ethiopia by our anniversary date, which is a real possibility, so I am going to definitely be praying for that.
When I look at our time line, though it has been frustrating, I can see God's hand in our delays. Paige is in such a better place to welcome a sibling than she was even 3 to 6 months ago.
I feel so much more confident about bringing new children into our home. I feel like God has really worked on my entire family over this time and we are all much more ready for this wonderful and exciting experience than we would have been six months ago.
God's timing really is much better than mine. How come I always seem to have a hard time remembering this?
Our agency has a yahoo group and on the board their is an "unofficial" waiting family list where people post their names and the age of children they are hoping to adopt. I got on there a few days ago and noticed that most of the families are asking for children 12 months or younger. There were only a couple asking for children as old as ours (4 or under) and I don't think any were asking for siblings in that age group. Some might say something like 2 children four and under with one child under 12 months. The problems with a request like this is that if the agency has 2 children available for adoption and one is 15 months old they cannot offer you the referral. The children have to be the exact age you requested. I believe this is a newer rule and unfortunately has caused some families, like my friend Lisa who is off meeting her two little ones right now, to have a longer wait than they initially thought.
I have a feeling, and yes it is just a feeling, that we may not have to wait that long for a referral since we requested ANY children (a boy and a girl) four or under. Only time will tell, and ultimately we will wait as long as we have to, it will just be interesting if my feelings turn out to be true.
Thanks for encouraging me through this slow and frustrating time. All of your kind comments and emails have been very appreciated. As always, I will keep you updated on our progress.
I was going through some paperwork this morning and found our original adoption contract with our agency. We signed the paperwork on September 12, 2007. Almost a year ago.
When we signed those forms we thought it would take us six months max to get all the paperwork together and the home study done. I kind of laugh at that now. I would be thrilled if our dossier was off to Ethiopia by our anniversary date, which is a real possibility, so I am going to definitely be praying for that.
When I look at our time line, though it has been frustrating, I can see God's hand in our delays. Paige is in such a better place to welcome a sibling than she was even 3 to 6 months ago.
I feel so much more confident about bringing new children into our home. I feel like God has really worked on my entire family over this time and we are all much more ready for this wonderful and exciting experience than we would have been six months ago.
God's timing really is much better than mine. How come I always seem to have a hard time remembering this?
Our agency has a yahoo group and on the board their is an "unofficial" waiting family list where people post their names and the age of children they are hoping to adopt. I got on there a few days ago and noticed that most of the families are asking for children 12 months or younger. There were only a couple asking for children as old as ours (4 or under) and I don't think any were asking for siblings in that age group. Some might say something like 2 children four and under with one child under 12 months. The problems with a request like this is that if the agency has 2 children available for adoption and one is 15 months old they cannot offer you the referral. The children have to be the exact age you requested. I believe this is a newer rule and unfortunately has caused some families, like my friend Lisa who is off meeting her two little ones right now, to have a longer wait than they initially thought.
I have a feeling, and yes it is just a feeling, that we may not have to wait that long for a referral since we requested ANY children (a boy and a girl) four or under. Only time will tell, and ultimately we will wait as long as we have to, it will just be interesting if my feelings turn out to be true.
Thanks for encouraging me through this slow and frustrating time. All of your kind comments and emails have been very appreciated. As always, I will keep you updated on our progress.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
More Frustration
Our dossier arrived in St. Louis yesterday morning.
It was reviewed today.
I am told it is missing two pieces of paper from our Home Study agency.
I am totally frustrated by this because I had been told previously that all was OK with that end. I actually believe they have the two forms they are looking for but they were not State Certified. I had been told before they did not need to be state certified.
Very Frustrating.
I didn't get on my computer at all yesterday or earlier today so our agency is already closed and I can't call our social worker.
Hopefully it can all be fixed tomorrow.
I'm going to go and have a good cry now. I was soooo hoping that we would be on the waiting list by Sept. 1. That probably won't happen now. Sigh.
It was reviewed today.
I am told it is missing two pieces of paper from our Home Study agency.
I am totally frustrated by this because I had been told previously that all was OK with that end. I actually believe they have the two forms they are looking for but they were not State Certified. I had been told before they did not need to be state certified.
Very Frustrating.
I didn't get on my computer at all yesterday or earlier today so our agency is already closed and I can't call our social worker.
Hopefully it can all be fixed tomorrow.
I'm going to go and have a good cry now. I was soooo hoping that we would be on the waiting list by Sept. 1. That probably won't happen now. Sigh.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Just One Little Piece Of Paper
I told you last month that our Dossier (forms needed for adoption) were complete and we just needed to have them authenticated by the Secretary of State so I could send them off and get on the waiting list for a referral.
Well, when our paperwork came back (there are 21 pieces of paper in all) they were all authenticated but one. It seems our home study agency got the copy of there license notarized but no one bothered to sign the form. This paper was looked at by three people before it was sent off and none of us caught this mistake.
I was disappointed but not to worried. I called our home study agency and they apologized profusely and sent me another copy (actually signed) that same day. We got it in a couple of days and Dave took it to Fed Ex and overnighted the form to the California Sec. of State.
That was three weeks ago.
We have heard nothing.
The other 20 documents were authenticated and sent back to us within one week.
I have been freaking out a little about this.
I am trying to remind myself of this verse on a daily basis.
I know that God is in control. I know he knows where our children are and who they are. This journey we started last October was suppose to take 3-6 months to get all the paper work done and sent in. We are now on month 10.
I feel at times like Satan is taunting me. I look at those other 20 documents all stamped and pretty with foil seals and know that without that one last piece of paper they are useless. Am I being tested. How much patience can I have? Can I really give this entire process to God and trust in Him?
I am really trying, however, this week I have been struggling. Tears have been near the surface all week. Frustration has been gripping my soul. I want to scream at who ever will listen that I. Want. My. Children.
So, in the middle of my doubting and temper tantrums God sent me some comfort and hope. He sent me affirmation that what we are doing is His will.
Tyler (14) was watching the discovery channel and he called to me . "Hey mom, they have something on here about making Ethiopian food". I went to the other room to watch it with him and it turns out they were featuring a restaurant in Los Angeles only about an hour from us.
We decided to get on the computer and research the restaurant thinking we would make a trip there to eat some real authenticate Ethiopian food.
I had heard that Los Angeles had an Ethiopian community but, I have to be honest, I had not researched it until this day. What we found made me so excited and happy.
There is a section of Los Angeles called Little Ethiopia where Ethiopian transplants have opened stores and restaurants. They celebrate Ethiopian holidays and speak Amharic. Here is the sign that greats visitors.
Well, when our paperwork came back (there are 21 pieces of paper in all) they were all authenticated but one. It seems our home study agency got the copy of there license notarized but no one bothered to sign the form. This paper was looked at by three people before it was sent off and none of us caught this mistake.
I was disappointed but not to worried. I called our home study agency and they apologized profusely and sent me another copy (actually signed) that same day. We got it in a couple of days and Dave took it to Fed Ex and overnighted the form to the California Sec. of State.
That was three weeks ago.
We have heard nothing.
The other 20 documents were authenticated and sent back to us within one week.
I have been freaking out a little about this.
I am trying to remind myself of this verse on a daily basis.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own
understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
I know that God is in control. I know he knows where our children are and who they are. This journey we started last October was suppose to take 3-6 months to get all the paper work done and sent in. We are now on month 10.
I feel at times like Satan is taunting me. I look at those other 20 documents all stamped and pretty with foil seals and know that without that one last piece of paper they are useless. Am I being tested. How much patience can I have? Can I really give this entire process to God and trust in Him?
I am really trying, however, this week I have been struggling. Tears have been near the surface all week. Frustration has been gripping my soul. I want to scream at who ever will listen that I. Want. My. Children.
So, in the middle of my doubting and temper tantrums God sent me some comfort and hope. He sent me affirmation that what we are doing is His will.
Tyler (14) was watching the discovery channel and he called to me . "Hey mom, they have something on here about making Ethiopian food". I went to the other room to watch it with him and it turns out they were featuring a restaurant in Los Angeles only about an hour from us.
We decided to get on the computer and research the restaurant thinking we would make a trip there to eat some real authenticate Ethiopian food.
I had heard that Los Angeles had an Ethiopian community but, I have to be honest, I had not researched it until this day. What we found made me so excited and happy.
There is a section of Los Angeles called Little Ethiopia where Ethiopian transplants have opened stores and restaurants. They celebrate Ethiopian holidays and speak Amharic. Here is the sign that greats visitors.
Here is the restaurant that was featured. It is said to have the best Ethiopian food in this country (that's what the guy on TV said).
I love how the restaurant is decorated in the colors of the Ethiopian flag.
Here is there sampler plate.
Ethiopian food is spicy and I am kind of a wimp. However, all the men in my family love it so they can't wait to go and try the food. I'm just going to put lots of water bottles in my purse.
So, we are still waiting. However my heart is so happy to know that our children will have a place to go where there native language is spoken, and people are there who can teach them about there country in a way we never could.
God is good. He has renewed my spirit.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The Long Awaited Update
I had a little panic attack regarding our adoption about six weeks ago. All of our paper work was done and had been sent off to the Secretary of State for Authentication when our family discovered that my mom was ill.
She had been feeling OK but upon a routine blood check they discovered she had a very high white blood cell count. After a few weeks we were told she has ALL which is an acute form of Leukemia.
I had my little freak out and wasn't sure we should be adopting if my mom may get really sick. I would obviously want to be there for her and wasn't sure how that would work with a new little one or two in the house who also really needed me at the time.
Over the past few weeks God has comforted my heart and let me know it will be OK. My mom looks great and is feeling fine at this time. They discovered she had ALL by chance so she has not started showing any symptoms and could not for many years. Our extended family encouraged us to continue on our original path assuring us that if anything happened we would not be alone and the entire family would work together to see that everyone was taken care of.
This made me feel immensely better so we are back on track (after a few month delay) and anxiously hoping to have all our documents in Ethiopia very soon. There was something wrong with the signature on the the license from our Home Study agency so I have to get a new copy from them for the Sec. of State. Other than that all our documents are done and waiting to be sent off.
Truth be told I am not sure I really could have halted this adoption. My heart has already been attached to the children there.
When I look back at the timeline we had set for ourselves we had hoped to be traveling this summer to pick up our kiddos. I never would have dreamed that nine months into the process we would not have even gotten our paperwork there. I am sure there is a reason for this and I try and remind myself DAILY that God is in control of this journey and not me. I'm sure there are reasons why our timeline has been extended. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.
I will let you know when we send everything off to our agency, hopefully very soon. If California has an earthquake you will know it is the day we sent everything off, all my jumping up and down caused a seismic disturbance. The courts close in Ethiopia on August 5 this year and do not reopen until some time in October. Our agency will continue to give referrals while the courts are closed but no one will be traveling until the Fall.
OK, OK, I would love a quick referral. The odds of that are not good however. I am praying for a referral before the end of the year. However, I am repeating my mantra that "God is in control of the situation" over and over so as not to drive myself crazy.
If you know me, no comments on the last sentence. Yes, I know. I am already crazy!
She had been feeling OK but upon a routine blood check they discovered she had a very high white blood cell count. After a few weeks we were told she has ALL which is an acute form of Leukemia.
I had my little freak out and wasn't sure we should be adopting if my mom may get really sick. I would obviously want to be there for her and wasn't sure how that would work with a new little one or two in the house who also really needed me at the time.
Over the past few weeks God has comforted my heart and let me know it will be OK. My mom looks great and is feeling fine at this time. They discovered she had ALL by chance so she has not started showing any symptoms and could not for many years. Our extended family encouraged us to continue on our original path assuring us that if anything happened we would not be alone and the entire family would work together to see that everyone was taken care of.
This made me feel immensely better so we are back on track (after a few month delay) and anxiously hoping to have all our documents in Ethiopia very soon. There was something wrong with the signature on the the license from our Home Study agency so I have to get a new copy from them for the Sec. of State. Other than that all our documents are done and waiting to be sent off.
Truth be told I am not sure I really could have halted this adoption. My heart has already been attached to the children there.
When I look back at the timeline we had set for ourselves we had hoped to be traveling this summer to pick up our kiddos. I never would have dreamed that nine months into the process we would not have even gotten our paperwork there. I am sure there is a reason for this and I try and remind myself DAILY that God is in control of this journey and not me. I'm sure there are reasons why our timeline has been extended. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.
I will let you know when we send everything off to our agency, hopefully very soon. If California has an earthquake you will know it is the day we sent everything off, all my jumping up and down caused a seismic disturbance. The courts close in Ethiopia on August 5 this year and do not reopen until some time in October. Our agency will continue to give referrals while the courts are closed but no one will be traveling until the Fall.
OK, OK, I would love a quick referral. The odds of that are not good however. I am praying for a referral before the end of the year. However, I am repeating my mantra that "God is in control of the situation" over and over so as not to drive myself crazy.
If you know me, no comments on the last sentence. Yes, I know. I am already crazy!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
A Few Weeks In Pictures
My wonderful oldest daughter turned 12 last month. Here she is with one of her best friends, getting ready to blow out the candles.
We went to my niece Jessica's wedding a few months ago. Here are all the kids outside the church. It was a hot day and Paige wasn't looking very happy.
The older boys left there jackets on for this photo and then off they came for the rest of the day. I can't blame them, it was really blazing hot that day.
There were bubbles on each table at the reception and Paige quickly grabbed some and started blowing. This is her innocent look. She was hoping I wasn't noticing how she was taking the bubbles off of ALL the tables.
Zachary had his Baseball Awards Banquet last night. I can't believe he only has two more years of high school. I have let the kids know that they can go to college up to two hours away and THAT IS IT. I think they assume I am kidding. I am not.
Now, I am going to be brave and actually show you a picture of myself. I hate to have my picture taken because I really need to lose 40 pounds. When I see the photo I always ask myself "Who is that person"? and am then shocked to realize it is actually me.
Are you ready? Here it is......Samantha and I getting ready to leave for American Idol.
In case you can't tell, I'm the chubby one on the right. Don't you love Samantha's shades (and Paige's art work on the wall next to us)?
I keep thinking I really need to work on losing weight before we go to Ethiopia. I don't want our new kids to be shocked by there new mama's chubbiness. This picture makes me a little more motivated. Nothing like sharing your inner feelings with the entire blogisphere to really get the motivational juices flowing.
Well, I must go now. The family is watching Survivorman and he is teaching us how to survey if stranded in the desert. I don't want to miss him eating the live scorpion. They just look oh so yummy. Really. I mean it.
Monday, January 14, 2008
One Blanket At A Time
Mary shared today that her Mom, Dad and sister will be going to Ethiopia this summer for a few months to work. Her mom is an OB nurse and will be taking donations with her to help at the clinic. She was told that what they really need are blankets for the babies. The women who come to deliver their babies usually arrive with only the clothes on their back. They would love to be able to provide each new mom with a blanket to wrap her baby in.
Can you imagine not being able to wrap your baby in a nice new warm blanket? Neither could I.
Mary has come up with a great idea to collect blankets for her family to take. She will have a paypal account up on February 1st and you can go to her sight and donate one or two or fifty blankets. Isn't that fantastic?
Obviously this is a subject very close to my heart as our family hopes to travel to Ethiopia this year to adopt a new child into our home.
You can go visit Mary over at Owlhaven for all the details. Also, feel free to grab the button and share about it on your blog.
I am very excited about the opportunity to help if even in a very small way.
