Monday, July 20, 2009
This morning when we got the call from our agency and they told us they had some bad news my first thoughts were that one of the children had died. I couldn't imagine what other calamity could have occurred to have both the director and our social worker call us at the same time.

I immediately asked them if everything was OK and I was told no, it indeed was not.

When I heard them say they had to send the children back to their original orphanage I felt such relief that they were alive and OK I didn't respond to that particular piece of information for a few seconds.

What do you mean you have sent our children back? I kept hearing that sentence over and over as they were trying to explain to me what had happened as I wept into the receiver of the phone.

The orphanage director is not doing his job.

We sent the children back.

We cannot work with him any longer.

We sent the children back.

We are so sorry this has happened.

We sent the children back.

On and on it went.

I can't remember more than a few words of what was said.

However, the few words I remember have lodged into the pit of my stomach.

My children will never come home.

My heart was so fully devoted to those children already. They are my children. That will never change.

Perhaps the pain will soften. My understanding of the situation will grow.

However, a small piece of my heart will always belong to them. The children I was sure God had picked out just for us.

Two boys who had learned to love each other in the orphanage and had become the best of friends. They slept together each night and were best buddies. They were to come home to two families that loved them and who would make sure their friendship would continue.

Tonight they sleep alone. One sent back to their original orphanage high in the hills. The other sleeping in the same bed they had shared unaware that his new family has a court date in ten short days.

One boy coming home to his new family. The other with no family.

I am trying to hold onto Romans 8:28 tonight. I don't want to fall into the deep hole of despair. Lord please make some good out of this awful day. Amen.

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  posted at 9:37 PM  

At 12:01 AM, Blogger Virginia (Jenny) said...

Oh no, oh no.... :)

My heart is totally breaking for you and the kids. I'm so, so very sorry. What a sadness. We're going to pray for you guys in this time.

At 12:02 AM, Blogger Virginia (Jenny) said...

Okay, that was supposed to be a sad face at the top of my comment. How could I mix that up? Sorry. You know what I mean. :(

At 7:24 AM, Blogger Jenna said...

oh no Julie :( I am so sorry this happened to you and the kids. Please hang in there, God has a plan for all of you involved. I know that is easier said then done. My prayers are with you and your family.

At 9:12 AM, Blogger Jill said...

I'm so sick for you. Nothing else to say. This is breaking my heart, I cannot even imagine what you are going through. Still praying.

At 9:35 AM, Blogger Stephanie said...

I am so so sorry. :( (((Hugs)))

At 10:08 AM, Blogger Lori said...

I can not image honey I am so sorry. I know God is in the midst of this, but I will pray for your comforting and their protection. Hugs.

At 1:29 PM, Blogger Missy said...

I am so sorry...this is just heartbreaking for everyone involved!

At 2:30 PM, Blogger The Parsons Flock said...

i am so very sorry for you and your family. we will be keeping all of you in our prayers. my heart is just breaking for you. hang in there.

At 4:43 PM, Blogger The Gang's Momma said...

I'm so sorry Julie. I cannot believe this is happening to you and your family. My heart is breaking.

I completely remember that sinking feeling. That devastation and anger. I remember it all too well.

I will pray for you. I am praying for you even now as I type this. I'm so, so sorry.

At 3:56 AM, Blogger His Hands His Feet Today said...

Oh Julie! Praying for open doors!!!! favor !!! and peace while you walk this unexpected course!

At 6:00 AM, Blogger Kimmie said...


Praying that this director will do what he or she has to do and will make it happen with your agency (partnership). May God have His mighty hand upon this sitution and may He give you wisdom and knowledge so YOU KNOW what it is He wants you to do.

Peace upon you and the Power of God...dear Julie.

mama to 7
one homemade and 6 adopted


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I am a spontaneous, out going, daughter of the King, who is married to a wonderful guy who is a quiet, shy, non-spontaneous, scientist who also loves the Lord. Truly a match made in heaven! We fight and argue, love and laugh, every single day. I am passionate about orphan care and love to tell our story to anyone who will listen. This blog is dedicated to that journey.

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