For as long as I can remember it is all I had ever wanted to be. When people would ask "What do you want to be when you grow up"? I would always answer the same way, from a young child to a young adult, "I want to be a mother".
I have no idea why I had such a strong desire to do only this. My friends could do both, have a career and be a mother, why couldn't I?
Simply, I had no desire for a career. I finally came to the realization that this was God's plan for my life. While others are sent down a different path, this is the path I chose. The one I truly believe I was born for.
I got married young by most standards. I was 20 (almost 21) and my hubby was 24.
If it had been completely up to me we would have immediately started a family. However, hubby was still in school full time working on his doctorate and their was no way I could stay home. I had a hard time leaving our dogs when I went off to work so I knew their was little chance I would want to leave my child. So, we waited.
For three long years I waited until hubby was out of school. When he finally did graduate it took another three long years for me to get pregnant.
The day I found out I was pregnant with our child was the most joyful of my life. We were both so excited. The thought of having to wait eight more months to meet our child was almost unbearable. Little did I know then how much I would really love being pregnant. I loved every minute, every kick, every little arm or leg sticking out through my stomach, it was magical and wonderful and such a blessing.
Here is a picture of me the night before going into the hospital to deliver my sweet first born.
Um, I'm really not sure what was going on with my hair? I obviously had on no makeup and that night gown was a little small. Oh well, here I am in all my glory. Obviously so happy (and a little nervous) to meet my new baby in the next few hours. I have to laugh at the little "what a site" sticker at the top of the picture. I scanned it our of our oldest's baby book. I obviously wasn't all that impressed with my hairdo even way back then.
Twenty hours of labor later I received this sweet bundle into my arms.
Yes it hurt, yes it was hard, and yes it was so so worth it.
I had asked for an epidural and thought to myself, man, if this is how much it hurts with an epidural it must really hurt with out one. My epidural line had fallen out of my back, no one noticed, I had natural child birth without ever realizing it. It made me feel much better to know I wasn't a complete wimp. lol.
Zachary Alexander came into our lives that day and life has never been the same.
He was the best baby. Slept through the night (12 hours) when he was six weeks old. He always had a smile on his little face and enjoyed going out and experiencing new things.
Here you are at your first trip to the zoo with your Dad.
A smile always met me when I would go in to pick you up after a nap.
Zach, it has been such a privilege to be your mother for these past sixteen years. Your Dad and I love you so much and are so proud of the young man you have become. You have big goals for yourself and no one will ever be able to say you didn't reach them because you didn't work hard. You work harder on your dreams than anyone I have ever met (though your room could use some of that same determination in getting it cleaned up a little).
Remember, Zach, trust God and seek his will for your life. You are a strong person, a good brother, and a great son. I have no doubts he has great things planned for your life.