I had hoped to have a fun family weekend making gingerbread houses and watching Christmas movies. Instead Saturday my husband was in charge of a baseball clinic our league held with a local college. It wasn't really that much work, we just had to be at the ball field all day, and figure out how to get Zach to his travel ball games later in the afternoon. He played two games on Saturday and then was suppose to only play one game Sunday morning.

One game turned into two.

Two games turned into three.

Three games turned into four.

Yes, that is right my friends. My son played a total of six games this weekend.

The weekend I was hoping to have at home with all of us snuggled under blankets watching Christmas movies and eating fudge just never happened.

Tonight when I thought that my head just might explode from the list going through it of all the things I needed to get done this weekend and DIDN'T, hubby informed me he would only be working half days all week and would be around to help me.

The poor man probably realized his wife was near her breaking point and immediate intervention was required.

Anyway, this weekend made me think of a job description for a "Mom" or "Dad" that a girlfriend sent me recently. If you have the time to read through it I think it will make you smile.

Enjoy!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.