Thursday, November 13, 2008
Am I A Wimpy Wife?
We had a conversation tonight in our family that made me wonder how things work in your families?

When I turned 16 my parents bought me a car. My Dad would fill up my tank once a week. I never asked, he just did it. He didn't think a girl should have to pump her own gas. This was a perk I greatly enjoyed.

When I was 18 I met my husband. One day we were out driving and I needed gas. I pulled into the gas station and he jumped out to pump my gas for me. Later I told him it was a good thing he was with me because I had no idea how to pump gas.

I could tell by the look on his face that he thought this was ridiculous.

Needless to say I have pumped my own gas for the past 23 years, unless we are in the car together and then wonderful husband does it.

I find myself, at times, missing the days when my father would just take care of this for me. My mom HAS NEVER pumped gas.

Now, lest you think my husband an ogre, he does pamper me in other ways. He lets me sleep in on Saturday mornings, brings me coffee just the way I like it, and lets me escape for a little time alone whenever I feel the need. He is a great guy.

He just doesn't pump my gas.

I was telling my sons that there is something very romantic about Grandpa making sure Grandma's gas tank is always full and ready to go. They of course rolled their eyes at me. I was trying to explain to them, that while I am all about being self sufficient, it is very nice to feel so nurtured and loved. That Grandpa is showing his love by taking care of this little detail in our lives. It brings him joy.

My boys were amazed that a girl would actually care about something as "stupid" as this. They can understand about buying flowers, and opening doors, but pumping gas.....come on.

I was trying to explain to them that it was about having a servants heart and I shared the Bible Verse to them about how a man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church.

They still were not convinced.

So ladies, this is your chance. Lay it on me. Would you like for your husband to take care of this mundane chore for you, or perhaps he already does? Let me know. My boys and I have a little wager going on this one, and it involves chores, so I am hoping to be the big winner.

Not that I'm trying to influence you in any way. I would NEVER do anything like that. Hee Hee.


  posted at 12:17 AM  

At 4:21 AM, Blogger McAngie said...

That is so sweet!

There is an elderly couple at my church and they sit near the front and every Sunday morning he will stand by the pew and will not sit down until his wife comes up the isle and he guides her to her seat. I point this out to my son every Sunday and tell him how sweet that is. Haha!

But me, I never really ever get pampered. I may get a bubble bath ran every once in a blue moon but that's not free, something is always expected in return, darn man. But no, I am very self sufficient and my husband knows that and he's very dependent, I wait on him hand and foot. He never does laundry, dishes, cook, clean or anything. OK, let me ref raise that, He takes care of everything outside the house and me and the kids take care of the inside.

At 5:26 AM, Blogger missy said...

I've got to admit, my husband does get my gas for me! In the 11 years we've been married I've only had to do it myself a handful of times. It really is romantic, in a strange way.

He also still occasionally opens doors/car doors for me, though not every time like he used to when we were first married. I have already decided that my daughter MUST marry a guy that opens doors for her. I think it reminds the men their woman should be valued.

I know I sound very old fashioned and un-feminist, but I suppose I am. I didn't have a dad who pampered me, so I value that type of thing so much!

At 6:37 AM, Blogger jolincountry said...

We live in the country so my husband wouldn't just take the van and go fill it up. But he does pump the gas if we are together.
He also always drives if we are together.
There is definitely something romantic about my husband nurturing me.

At 6:56 AM, Blogger holly said...

I NEVER pump gas...Either my husband does it, or my 17 year old does it. It would only be on the very rare chance that I am zoomin' around on empty that I would be forced to do it myself. I know how. I was a single mom for several years, but my husband is just that...a gentleman who takes care of stuff like that. He even goes out in the ice and snow to scrape my windows. What a guy!!

At 7:14 AM, Blogger Stephanie said...

My husband does mundane stuff for me all the time and I love it. It is very romantic. I think getting stuff done for you (like the vacuuming) is more romantic than receiving flowers. Of course, if you have asked him to do the task it is not the same, but if it is a thoughtful jester to lighten your load, oh so romantic.

At 8:17 AM, Blogger julie said...

Ok, Holly and Missy, I am a little jealous. I think that is great your husband nurtures you like that.

I let my teenage boys read all of the responses and they were surprised by your answers. They could not understand why a woman would really find this romantic. I told them that I understood, much of the male species is clueless about this stuff. I hope their future wives appreciate me paving the way for them. lol.

Thanks for sharing,

At 9:06 AM, Blogger The Gang's All Here! said...

That is sweet. When I was really struggling with some stuff last winter, my hubby got up early, took my car out and filled it for me before work. He knows how much I hate to pump gas in cold, rainy weather and he knew I had to go out that day for an unpleasant appointment in the cold drizzle. I was so touched and blessed I cried. Over a tank of gas. I did.

Other pampering? Not so much. I'm an independent, move too fast, get it done myself kinda gal, so if I really find myself in need of pampering, I have to be pretty specific. For my birthday and Mother's Day I usually get a pretty nice spoiling. I would love an occasional bouquet of flowers or little surprise date. I guess I ought to consider doing some pampering of him, though. I'm not a great pamper-er. I'm too practical and my pace stresses him out.

At 4:46 PM, Blogger Sandi said...

I think it is super sweet and it is one of the sweetest indulgences my husband gives me. I LOVE it! I only pump my gas about twice a year, and my husband is generally pretty busy when that happens.

At 9:20 AM, Blogger Heidi @ GGIP said...

I think it is a very sweet gesture to get gas for you!! Especially if this is a chore you do not like!!

However, I think that in this day and age, some women would be offended by the gesture, especially if the assumption was that she didn't know how to do it.

I think the moral of my comment is that all relationships are different. Yes, men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is going to look very different based on the wife! My example is my one aunt who always does mow the lawn and do outdoor chores. There are some who assume that my uncle is doing the wrong thing by making her do it, but in fact she wants to do it because she really enjoys it. To each their own in marriage so long as the wife and husband love and respect one another.

At 5:29 PM, Blogger Searching for my Sanity or Jen...whichever you prefer... said...

My husband DOES do little mundane things for me sometimes. He may not always hold the car door open like when we dated but he does other things. Like one day we went to church and my rear view mirror had come off in my minivan...he was running errands that day and when I came back out to the van he had fixed it. Also one time we had a little tiff before I had somewhere to be and when I came out to my car later he had stopped by and put an "i'm sorry" card and a single rose in my driver seat!
He does pump gas for me if we are traveling together and sometimes if he borrows the van. I feel pretty blessed that after 12 years together he still thinks of little things. :) Or maybe it is because I try and do little things for him too...such as remember to push the seat back when I borrow his car, or make sure his medicine is always filled and his lunch is ready when he goes to work. This is one of the things I love best about being married. :)

At 8:07 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

I guess I'm wimpy, too -- I never pump gas unless I'm travelling to MI w/out DH. (I do know how to, though, and even pay with the credit card machine, LOL.) I just hate the SMELL it leaves on my hands. YUCK. And, yes, taking care of all-things-auto is another way DH takes care of ME.

At 12:02 PM, Blogger Kathyb1960 said...

This may make your sons gag, but my dad always does special things for my mom. They will be married 50 years in March, and he thinks she hung the moon.

He writes special poems for her, & when she was working, would present her a poem and rose every hour on her birthday or their anniversary.

He will cook lunch for them when my mother is out doing errands, or he will go to the grocery store for her. THIS has not always been the case. This has just started in the last several years.

One year on their anniversary, he put up on a billboard in their town, that is was their anniversary and how much he loves her! It's sooo sweet.

But he says he's not romantic. HA! I don't know if he gets out to get the gas or not.


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I am a spontaneous, out going, daughter of the King, who is married to a wonderful guy who is a quiet, shy, non-spontaneous, scientist who also loves the Lord. Truly a match made in heaven! We fight and argue, love and laugh, every single day. I am passionate about orphan care and love to tell our story to anyone who will listen. This blog is dedicated to that journey.

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