Sunday, June 29, 2008
We have neighbors with two children. They have a son who is sixteen and a daughter nineteen.

The daughter, Maggie, is suppose to be going to the local junior college and moving on to the state university next year.

I actually think her only goal in life right now is to party. In her parents back yard. Which is right next door to my bedroom.

One of her parties is going on right now and they are so loud I can't sleep. Hubby has left to get Zach at the airport (yeah!) so I sit here alone fuming. By the way who thought it was a good idea for this kid to fly into the airport an hour away at one o'clock in the morning? I am fairly certain it was not my idea.

Anyway, around two a.m. I got tired of listening to the party and called the police. I am still waiting for them to show up and escort the party goers off the premises (wait, I think I just heard them drive up).

A few weeks ago I talked to Maggie's mother about her parties. Well, at least I tried to. The minute the words "Can I talk to you for a minute"? left my mouth she cut me off and said she knew what I wanted to talk to her about.

The parties.

She rung her hands and told me she just didn't know what to do. She had spoken with her daughter and told her she needed to stop having parties when they were away but she just won't listen to them. They are just at a loss as to what to do.

Umm, I would suggest some consequences for her actions. Like maybe taking her car keys away for a few days, or cutting off her allowance.

Oh no, they just couldn't do that.

When I explained to my neighbor that my patience with this behavior was exhausted due to the fact Maggie and her friends had been smoking pot at these parties lately and the smoke and smell were ending up in Paige's bedroom, thus not allowing me to put her to bed for fear she would have a little buzz going on in a few minutes.

My neighbor looked at me full of surprise. They have drugs at these parties? To which I wanted to scream YES, YES THEY DO. YOU WOULD KNOW THIS IF YOU HUNG AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO MONITOR YOUR OWN CHILDREN!!!!!!

She then went on to explain to me that she would definitely bring this up with Maggie's father. They didn't mind if the kids drank (they provide the booze and see nothing wrong with it) but drugs, oh my goodness, NEVER!

A few days later she comes to my door and tells me she spoke with Maggie and she assured her mother that she never smoked pot.....only her friends did. The mother wanted me to know this. Do you think the mother would have believed me if I told her I had seen her precious daughter doing drugs from my bedroom window as had several of the other neighbors? I really didn't thinks so, so I just looked at her like I thought she was out of her mind and hoped she got the hint.

The corker in this whole thing is that they have their son tested for drugs each month. They are sure he is doing drugs. I am sure he is not. I think the sister is getting away with murder and her younger brother is taking the heat for her. Uggggggg!

Our neighbors are nice people. However, they checked out of there parenting role a long time ago. Preferring, instead, to go party with friends on the weekend rather than spending time with their kids. This has been going on for the eight years we have been neighbors.

Another friend of mine called last week for advise. It seems her son had been invited to a beach house for the weekend by my neighbors son. She didn't know them and wanted to know if I thought it would be OK? She was a little concerned because the parents would not be staying at the beach house with them but at the hotel across the street alone. However, they would be checking on them periodically. She wanted to know if I would let Zach go? No. End of story.

This same neighbor told me (hang on to your hats my friends) that when she was a teenager her parents would leave the front door open for her and her boyfriend so when they got home from their dates they could quietly go in and use the downstairs guest bedroom (ahem) because her parents didn't want her to have to have S#x in the backseat of a car.

Pick your jaws up off the floor and think about this with me? What the heck were her parents thinking? I will also tell you that when Maggie was a senior in high school Dave would sometimes be leaving for work early (around 5:00 a.m.) and see her boyfriend slipping out the front door. I guess the mother has continued the practice her parents set up for her.

Am I the only one who thinks this is sad and ridiculous? Parent your children for heavens sake. Say NO every once in a while. Provide consequences for poor choices and not minding while they are living under you roof.

I guess I am done ranting. The party is just now ending and I am going to try and get some sleep before morning comes. Feel free to leave words of wisdom here for how to deal with this situation. At this point I'm ready to take a hose to them all the next time they party past midnight.

Hmmm. That might actually make me feel a whole lot better. Wa, ha, ha, ha, ha.


  posted at 2:26 AM  

At 6:07 AM, Blogger Heidi @ GGIP said...

Unbelieveable! If it were just one of those non-parenting activities, it would be one thing........

At 6:13 AM, Blogger patjrsmom said...

Hi Julie,

Thanks for your prayers for our adoption! Good luck with yours. I'll pray for you, too! (And on a side note, this story about your neighbors is just incredible!) I'll pray for them, too. It sounds like they could use a little prayer.\

God Bless,

At 7:19 AM, Blogger Lori said...

Wow! I did have to pick my jaw up from the floor. This is just unbelieveably sad. I agree they do need prayers.

You did the right thing by calling the cops. Sounds like you know her kids way better than she does.

At 8:34 AM, Blogger missy said...

My suggestion would be to videotape the daughter smoking the pot. Show the tape to the mother and inform her if she didn't get a handle on the situation, the cops would see the video. Okay, this may be a bit on the blackmail side BUT this mom needs a serious wake up call. I would NOT tolerate this type of thing AT ALL. Good luck!!

At 8:59 AM, Blogger julie said...

Hi ladies,

I agree that this family needs prayers. They are completely clueless.

Missy, I also thought of video taping them. I'll have to think about this one, not sure if I have the guts to actually do it or not.

Last night after the police had come and broken up the party all I could think about was all those kids were driving home after spending the night drinking. I prayed they didn't kill themselves or some one else before they got home. I am so considerered for all these kids safety as the parents (of all these kids) seem to be seriously out to lunch.


At 11:38 AM, Blogger Jenni said...

That sounds like my neighbors! It is beyond frustrating to witness these things about which the parent is clueless. I like the videotaping idea - but you'd need to be prepared for some angry feelings on the neighbors part. She doesn't want to face her daughter's issues, and may not thank you for giving her proof of your concerns. Hopefully in the long run she'll feel differently though.

As a teacher, I see so many parents letting their kids get away with horrendous things, or blaming others for their children's shortcomings. They don't want to deal with the issues themselves, so they make excuses or push the responsibility off onto others. I fear we have a whole generation of kids growing up with feelings of entitlement and no sense of personal responsibility. It's a bit scary at times.

At 8:14 PM, Blogger Brenda said...

Wow. That family needs prayers in a big way.

I would have called the cops too, but that doesn't really solve anything you know? Those kids needs protection and the parents need the Lord. Well, the kids too!

At 8:32 PM, Blogger Billie said...

i drop in and read your blog every now and then...holy cow! this story is crazy! just be thankful that you are neighbors to them and that your kids are friends with them! you'd never think parents would be so dumb!

At 7:24 AM, Blogger Searching for my Sanity or Jen...whichever you prefer... said...

I agree with Missy...videotape the daughter doing that and just maybe it might kick the parents in the butt enough to realize what is really going on. Sometimes visual evidence is needed. Otherwise I can totally feel for ya. We moved out of an old rental house because teh mother had two boys who were dealing pot out of her house (she never believed her sons could do anything wrong) and the cops kept showing up. I guess the fact that in every neighborhood she lived in the other parents would not let their kids play with hers, was not a clue to her that they were a bad influence sheesh. :)

At 2:49 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

The video would be good for the parents and/or police. They are partaking in illegal AND dangerous activities!

As for the noise, you have more patience than us! I'd have called the police by 9 pm. But I live in a small town and they would be very responsive. I'm sure it's tougher in larger areas, but I wouldn't give up. There must be noise/disturbance ordinances. I just couldn't stand that.

At 7:50 AM, Blogger Crissybug said...

I would be annoyed too. My parents weren't very good at disciplining us...but luckily I wasn't too rebellious. I was blessed to have good friends. Some of my other siblings weren't as lucky. They have suffered alot because of their choices. I think it is vital for parents to draw lines, and stick to them. It sounds to me that your neighbors kids are SCREAMING for their parents attention, and they are deaf to their crys. So sad.

At 8:00 PM, Blogger maudie-mae said...

I think the next time you see pot being smoked there, call the cops, especially if there is underage drinking. This is what you do to protect your children when the parents are oblivious.

At 9:55 AM, Blogger Kathyb1960 said...

I would have called the police right about the time I figured out there was going to be a party.

I live in an apt complex, and sometimes you can smell when someone is smoking...or even cooking something REALLY SPICY! UGGGG!

But, a couple of years ago I was smelling something REALLY STRONG! I really didn't know what Pot smelled like, but I had a feeling I was smelling it. I called the office & at first they said that if someone was smoking, they could put charcoal in the vents, or something to block the smell. But then when I mentioned I thought it might be pot, they were over here in less than 5 minutes. They went upstairs, and they said as soon as they got close to the door they could smell it. They talked to them, and of course, gave them another chance. Then they did it again that weekend, I called, and they weren't there much longer. And when they went in to clean after the people left, they said it stunk bad!

So, I can understand you not wanting Paige to be in her room! Yucky, yucky, yucky!


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I am a spontaneous, out going, daughter of the King, who is married to a wonderful guy who is a quiet, shy, non-spontaneous, scientist who also loves the Lord. Truly a match made in heaven! We fight and argue, love and laugh, every single day. I am passionate about orphan care and love to tell our story to anyone who will listen. This blog is dedicated to that journey.

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