I always wanted to have a close relationship with my niece. We are only 9 months apart and it would have really been nice. Unfortunately, there seems to have always been some underlying tension in our relationship. I think my sisters resented our mom having me and I can kind of understand that. They were starting a special time in their own lives and wanted my mom to be a grandma to their children, not a mom to her own new baby. As you can imagine I was very spoiled. We didn't have a lot of money but my parents have always thought I could do no wrong.
I have always felt like their was some secret competition between my niece and I. As I have gotten older and looked at the relationship from an adult point of view I see that this perceived competition was put their by our parents. For some reason my mom and sister have perpetuated this throughout the years and continue to this day.
We both have daughters that are one week apart. I swore that I would not allow their relationship to be poisoned the way my niece's and mine was. They adore each other and for that I am so thankful. However, a couple of times I have had to say something to both of their grandma's when one of them would start going on about how one of them was better at something than the other. Knock it off, NOW!!! I think they have gotten the message and things have been fine for a while now.
However, I want to go back to my relationship with my niece. For some reason we have never been able to heal. I prayed about this over and over but the truth is we are just sooo different. I doubt we would be friends if we were not related. This came to light the other day when we were talking on the phone for the first time in quite a while.
She told me her husband was going in for a vasectomy that morning and she was so happy because she really did not want any more kids. They have two ages 11 and 12. I told her that was great and I was happy if she was happy. She then asked when Dave would be having his. I told her I doubted he ever would because he secretly hopes for another baby. She started going on about how we already had 5 (like we were not aware of this) and how could we even think of having any more. I told her that we knew a lot of families with four or more and in the area we lived in it was not that uncommon for people to have more than 2 kids. Then she said it, the statement of all statements.
"Well, here in the OC people don't have more than two". The OC would be Orange County. You know the one they made the TV series about. The one called the OC with all the pretentious rich people. There is also another show on BRAVO if you get cable called The Housewives of Orange County. Basically the same stuff, but it is real people instead of a script.
This is why we will never be close friends. She is all about the plastic lifestyle. How things look are very important to her. Her house is always perfect, she always has a new manicure, kids are never dirty, and every one she knows has new perky breasts. That is not the life I lead, or would I want to. My house is never perfect, my kids play in the mud, and my breasts sag to my knees from all that breastfeeding.
She was putting me down for having 5 kids. My husband thinks it is hilarious. He keeps laughing about it. I think I may have a few more just to annoy her. Seriously!
In closing, here is my adorable 3 year old. You know, the one who wouldn't have been born if we lived in the OC. She is having a cupcake for dessert after breakfast. Did you know there was dessert after breakfast? Neither did I, but apparently their is.
Do you think they have adorable pink casts in the OC?
Labels: friends and family