Sunday, May 20, 2007
I definitely dont live in the OC
I have a different family. My mom was almost 45 when she had me. Two of my older sisters were already married and had a few children of their own so I was an aunt from birth. My two older sisters ended up having a combined 5 children and we were more like cousins than the aunt/niece-nephew relationship. I had 4 nephews and one niece.

I always wanted to have a close relationship with my niece. We are only 9 months apart and it would have really been nice. Unfortunately, there seems to have always been some underlying tension in our relationship. I think my sisters resented our mom having me and I can kind of understand that. They were starting a special time in their own lives and wanted my mom to be a grandma to their children, not a mom to her own new baby. As you can imagine I was very spoiled. We didn't have a lot of money but my parents have always thought I could do no wrong.

I have always felt like their was some secret competition between my niece and I. As I have gotten older and looked at the relationship from an adult point of view I see that this perceived competition was put their by our parents. For some reason my mom and sister have perpetuated this throughout the years and continue to this day.

We both have daughters that are one week apart. I swore that I would not allow their relationship to be poisoned the way my niece's and mine was. They adore each other and for that I am so thankful. However, a couple of times I have had to say something to both of their grandma's when one of them would start going on about how one of them was better at something than the other. Knock it off, NOW!!! I think they have gotten the message and things have been fine for a while now.

However, I want to go back to my relationship with my niece. For some reason we have never been able to heal. I prayed about this over and over but the truth is we are just sooo different. I doubt we would be friends if we were not related. This came to light the other day when we were talking on the phone for the first time in quite a while.

She told me her husband was going in for a vasectomy that morning and she was so happy because she really did not want any more kids. They have two ages 11 and 12. I told her that was great and I was happy if she was happy. She then asked when Dave would be having his. I told her I doubted he ever would because he secretly hopes for another baby. She started going on about how we already had 5 (like we were not aware of this) and how could we even think of having any more. I told her that we knew a lot of families with four or more and in the area we lived in it was not that uncommon for people to have more than 2 kids. Then she said it, the statement of all statements.

"Well, here in the OC people don't have more than two". The OC would be Orange County. You know the one they made the TV series about. The one called the OC with all the pretentious rich people. There is also another show on BRAVO if you get cable called The Housewives of Orange County. Basically the same stuff, but it is real people instead of a script.

This is why we will never be close friends. She is all about the plastic lifestyle. How things look are very important to her. Her house is always perfect, she always has a new manicure, kids are never dirty, and every one she knows has new perky breasts. That is not the life I lead, or would I want to. My house is never perfect, my kids play in the mud, and my breasts sag to my knees from all that breastfeeding.

She was putting me down for having 5 kids. My husband thinks it is hilarious. He keeps laughing about it. I think I may have a few more just to annoy her. Seriously!

In closing, here is my adorable 3 year old. You know, the one who wouldn't have been born if we lived in the OC. She is having a cupcake for dessert after breakfast. Did you know there was dessert after breakfast? Neither did I, but apparently their is.

Do you think they have adorable pink casts in the OC?


  posted at 9:08 PM  

At 6:25 AM, Blogger Jungle Mom said...

Thanks for stopping by. No, I can't say as I know your friends. We were deep in the jungle and had very little contact with other missionaries.

At 8:54 AM, Blogger Melanie said...

As I often tell my 5 kids (We obviously don't live in the OC either!), if God had made everyone exactly the same, it would be pretty boring!

I'm sorry you don't have a good relationship with your neice though.

At 9:49 AM, Blogger The Cheerio Queen said...

thanks for stopping by my blog! Yours is great..I have it saved on my favorites now. Yes I know I am a nerd I have not figured out the blog feed thing yet lol. I also still listen to cd's and do not own an ipod or an mp3 player either. lol but anyway your family is beautiful! I wanted more then 3 but Hubs says no more lol oh well I love the 3 I have. I loved your post and agree that there is some competition put in there by other family members. You are probably a lot happier then your OC niece too. sure I would love to have my nails done every week but I would rather spend that extra money on activities for the kids. Oh and I did not know that there is breakfast after dessert but thanks for letting me know! I will try that one! :) Your daughters cast is daughter if she was in that predicament would also opt for the pink one.


At 1:16 PM, Blogger Corrie said...

Ha ha. We have breakfast dessert at our house sometimes too. I'm so glad I don't live in the OC either. It takes too much time to stress out about hair, nail & facial appointments on a regular basis! =).

At 8:09 PM, Blogger Military Mommy said...

I'm sorry too about the relationship. I know you wish you could be closer with her.

I know her comments hurt, but I hope you won't let them linger around. In my opinion, it just shows her self-doubt about herself. You know who you are and embrace it. I think that is beautiful. And your family is beautiful too.

And I know people in the "OC" who have more than 2 kids, so there, niece.


Love, Michelle

At 5:08 PM, Blogger Oh Hi, It's Me said...

Oh My.

I have 4 kids and would love more, and I think yours are cute in any zipcode!

For what it's worth, when I told my mom we were adopting number four she said, "What? Why don't you get a job instead?"

Families are tough sometimes!

At 4:34 AM, Blogger Roses Are Red, Violets are Blue said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 4:35 AM, Blogger Roses Are Red, Violets are Blue said...

(sorry--accidentally deleted my first one...)

Perhaps she is secretly envious of the life you lead. You know, plastic lives seem like they would be mighty hard to maintain year after year. Yours is I'm thinking her attitude has more to do with her own situation than yours! :-)


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I am a spontaneous, out going, daughter of the King, who is married to a wonderful guy who is a quiet, shy, non-spontaneous, scientist who also loves the Lord. Truly a match made in heaven! We fight and argue, love and laugh, every single day. I am passionate about orphan care and love to tell our story to anyone who will listen. This blog is dedicated to that journey.

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