"Busyness is not a spiritual gift."
From an interview with
~ Lisa Harper ~
When I read this quote, I laughed out loud. I have felt the Lord whispering almost this same exact phrase in my ear over the last 18-24 months. I felt like he had just decided to kick it up a notch to really get my attention. I have really been working on slowing down and enjoying the quiet moments. What God has been showing me is that in my circumstance it is really a control issue.
I love people and God has blessed me with a servants heart. This does not mean that every circumstance or opportunity I encounter I must take charge of. Every need at church is not my responsibility to fill. Perhaps my job is to pray for someone to step up and take ownership of the need or give encouragement to someone who may just need a little push to jump in and take charge. I do not always have to be my children's room mom, team parent or PTA volunteer. It is OK to say no.
I know God wants me to put him first and if I do all other things will just fall into place. Why can't I get this through my head? Why is it so hard to break old habits and replace them with new ones? I once read that after you have done an activity 10 days in a row it has become a habit. Something you just do without having to think about it. God and I have been having a lot of talks about this lately. I want my time with him to be something that comes naturally. A time that is so ingrained in my schedule that it just happens each day without any real thought. A time that I cannot live without.
I was excited this morning to start a new online Bible Study that The Preachers Wife is hosting. My little one was playing quietly by herself and I had the perfect opportunity to dive in and enjoy some quality time with my Heavenly Father. The phone rang. I made the mistake of answering it. I never got back to my quiet time. I was really disgusted with myself. Why couldn't I make God a priority? The answer came to me quickly. Because I had not chosen to do so.
After reading this weeks quote I felt like God was playfully reminding me of our conversations over the last few days. Not unlike fathers gently nudging their daughters in the right direction. I am so blessed to serve a Heavenly Father who is patient with me. Who understands I am a work in progress. He believes in me and is cheering me on to be the person he knows I am meant to become. I am learning, even if at times it seems like it is at a very slow snails pace.
Today when I was dropping my son off at baseball practice one of the Dad's came over to talk to me through my car window. Hey, he said, football season is coming up soon. Do you want to be our football team mom? I smiled sweetly and then responded "Absolutely not" this fall I will be spending more time with my Father. My Heavenly Father that is.