Friday, September 26, 2008
I have found lately that I have become much more of a hermit.

I used to crave conversations with other women. Now I just find them mostly annoying.

Let me give you an example;

Last night at Garrett's football practice some of the other moms and I were having a discussion about school projects. Many of the boys have the same 5th grade teacher and it seems she has been laying on the homework pretty thick. I was thinking to myself, "Boy, am I glad I am homeschooling this year, it sure makes life easier". Only one of the other moms knew we had switched to homeschooling this year so she asked me how it was going? I said I was enjoying it, etc. The other moms looked at me with surprise and started asking very nice questions, however, this one mom started in telling me about how her girlfriend had homeschooled her kids and they were so far behind before she finally put them back into school. She couldn't believe I would take that chance with my children.

I know, I know. Some of you are wondering why I didn't give her all the data about how well home schooled kids do? To be honest, I just really didn't care about what this woman thought. I just smiled and went on my way. However, I could tell my friend was annoyed and she shot this lady a dirty look which I found rather entertaining.

This is a huge change for me. I used to care so much about what other people thought about me. Now, not so much. Maybe it is age. I am 44 and much more sure of myself than I was in my twenties and thirties. Before, this woman's remarks would have kept me awake at night wondering if I was doing the right thing. Today her remarks just make me chuckle at her ignorance.

Perhaps it is the wisdom that I am walking with God. Seeking his will and not my own or those of societies. Yes, I am liking the new me so much better than that other girl who was filled with self doubt and insecurities.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love all my girlfriends and bloggy friends. I just don't feel the need to be every one's friend anymore. I used to think that everyone had to like me or I would just die. I was a pleaser.

I am content now to enjoy the wonderful friendships I do have and if new friends come along that would be great. However, if I find you annoying or obnoxious, I wont be worrying about you anymore. I'll just smile and go on my way (and perhaps say a little prayer for you too).

Lest you think I have closed myself up in a closet you needn't worry. I'm actually going out for coffee tonight with a bunch of home schooling moms I have never met. I hope to make a new friend who can help me through this journey, but if not, I'm content to stay at home with my new best friend.

His name. Jesus.

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  posted at 5:56 AM  

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Kristin said...

Oh, I hope you had fun with the other homeschooling moms. Yeah, some people are just rude and hostile; there's no pleasing them, so you have to walk away. I'm not much of a people-pleaser, so it doesn't bother me. I just remain polite and go my merry way.

At 8:30 PM, Blogger Heidi @ GGIP said...

I think I just allow people's conscience (sometimes) to punish them. Someone I know was telling me something about how her children are "deformed" because they have birthmarks. At first I was shocked that she would even dare say that to me, but I almost immediately found it so ridiculous that it was almost funny. But I still do sortof hope she'll figure out how silly it was to say that to me.

I've always been a homebody.

At 1:10 PM, Blogger Qtpies7 said...

Good for you! It is very important not to care what other people think when you are homeschooling. Otherwise you will be depressed a LOT. People are getting more educated about homeschoolers, but for the most part, there is a lot of negativity.
I think it is because many people think that because you took your kids out of school that you must think that there is something wrong with the schools and think badly of their choice. It is defensiveness that gets in our system when someone does something so differently.
I get it a lot with many things.

At 4:08 PM, Blogger Merrie said...

I just want to encourage you. I home schooled our 4 children. I LOVED it. Yes, it was very hard, very challenging, BUT very rewarding.
I faced much criticism from all our family and friends. No one understood WHY we would isolate and punish our children.
HAHAHAHA... where many have children strung out on drugs, in prison, dead, pregnant out of wedlock, too many problems to mention...
We have two sons in the ministry and all our children were virgins when married and all are happily married to good solid Christians who are law abiding, productive people.
I say go for it!
The price we pay today, is worth what we get in the future.

At 10:50 AM, Blogger Melanie said...

Good for you on all accounts!

At 5:55 PM, Blogger Stacie said...

I say great for you. I too have always been a pleaser, but becoming less so as I age also (32), but much better than when I was younger.
I have long been considering home schooling too, but just don't know if I am structured enough to benefit our kids....luckily they are just 2 and 4 yet.

At 5:26 AM, Blogger Kimmie said...

Hi Julie;

Self-control...a Fruit of the Spirit, I'd go with that, continue to 'keep being filled.'

How was your coffee date? I'd love to hear more about the new potential friends!

mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted

At 7:42 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

I just have to share with you what a friend and fellow homeschool mom said recently.

A gentleman was kindly probing her with questions about homeschooling and finally asked her what qualifications she needed to do it. She didn't skip a beat and responded, "Oh, you have to be really good looking." It took him a few seconds to digest what she said. Then she added..."You are qualified too!"

It's great to grow into that self assured person isn't it? I used to be so concerned about what others thought. No more...I just don't have time for it. Blessings to you!

At 3:41 PM, Blogger McAngie said...

I don't homeschool, but that doesn't mean it's wrong for someone else. Kudos to you for laughing at her ignorance!! Yay! As Mothers and women we know we've came a long way when we don't care what anyone else thinks about us! Now, if I can just get the rest of the way there.

At 3:40 PM, Blogger Kim said...

I'm right there with you...but, it is nice to have some like minded friends...we do need eachother as believers. It is all about balance, isn't it?


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I am a spontaneous, out going, daughter of the King, who is married to a wonderful guy who is a quiet, shy, non-spontaneous, scientist who also loves the Lord. Truly a match made in heaven! We fight and argue, love and laugh, every single day. I am passionate about orphan care and love to tell our story to anyone who will listen. This blog is dedicated to that journey.

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