Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Why Am I Singing The Blues?
For the past few days I have been feeling a little overwhelmed...OK, A lot Overwhelmed.

I don't know what is wrong with me.

I am usually a glass is half full type of person but lately I have been feeling a lot more like the glass is half empty.

I want to stay in my bathrobe all day, lock my bedroom door, and not talk to anyone.

Not exactly practical for a mother of five.

The house is a mess, I can't seem to keep up with the clutter, which drives me absolutely INSANE.

I think this all started when Garrett went back to school last week and the other kids were still at home on the "it's still summer schedule".

I need them all to go back to school.

So I can clean my house from top to bottom and regain some order.

Those of you who are home schoolers I am in awe of you. I love my children more than anything in this world but if they do not go back to school soon you may have to lock me in a padded room for a while.

I think they feel my need for some time to myself. I heard them whispering to each other that something was wrong with Mom. I feel so guilty even writing those words down.

Mom's should not need time to themselves. We should always be happy, sweet, kind, and lovingly available.

Shouldn't we?

Well, I have a confession to make. I am only human. I need my kids to go away for a few hours.

I seriously think I am starting to lose my mind. I had to solve a simple subtraction problem yesterday while paying some bills and it took me a full 30 seconds to remember how to subtract four digit numbers. What is up with that? I had a major panic attack thinking I was encountering an early Alzheimer's symptom.

Perhaps it is just a sign of exhaustion.

I have never had my kids home all summer. We have always been on a year round schedule. Three months on, one month off. I loved it. Just when the kids were getting a little bored they could go back to school. When you get tired of homework, it is time for another break. I love love love this schedule.

I will never have that schedule again now that I have High Schoolers.

Oh, well. I know they will go back to school next week and within a few days I will be missing them like crazy and wondering what I was complaining about.

I usually love my kids being home with me and dread them going back to school. That is why I really do not understand what has come over me.

I hope I wake up in the morning feeling like my old self. This new person...I really do not like her.

I hope she goes away soon.

Thanks for listening.


  posted at 8:04 PM  

At 10:14 PM, Blogger Qtpies7 said...

That is normal. We all go through that at some point. Don't let guilt eat you up. Have a ladies night out and you'll feel better again!
Everyone needs a vacation from their jobs, so do moms. We just don't get one. So, go take one! A night out is just what you need to get perspective back.

At 5:12 AM, Anonymous Summer said...

I've been feeling the same way lately. I hope you get feeling better soon.

At 6:11 AM, Blogger missy said...

Of course moms deserve some alone time! You don't have to feel bad about needing some, that is for sure. I homeschool, and I can tell you that there are moments EVERY SINGLE DAY that I must send my kiddo to play so I can grab a few minutes by myself. NO ONE (at least not anyone I know) can function properly if 100% of their time is for someone else.

Give yourself a break. You have nothing to feel guilty about! :) Hope today continues to be a better day!!

At 6:39 AM, Blogger Laurel Wreath said...

Oh Julie I have been there. I can not tell you how many times the bathroom has been my hideout, but unfortunately they find me, ha! Praying for you. I second what Missy said above.


At 7:49 AM, Blogger Heather said...

I feel the same way except this is my first year to send my kids to school. My son starts all day 5K and my daughter starts AM 4K next week and I keep saying "once school starts my house and life will be clean and sane!" we'll see if it happens. And don't feel bad about wanting/needing just you time. I believe that if moms can't have time alone to "refresh" it'll be a bad thing. You need to chill for awhile so you can be a good mom. Hope this helped. :)

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Heidi @ GGIP said...

Yeah, we need time to ourselves. I know how you feel (except I have 4 less kids). I'm always exhausted lately.

At 10:40 AM, Blogger Melanie said...

(((HUGS))) Hope you feel better soon.

At 11:16 AM, Blogger Corrie said...

Hang in there! I know how you feel!

At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope things are better soon! I have periods like that sometimes as well. Don't beat yourself up! Your kids know you love them.

At 10:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have days like this, too. I just cut myself a little slack and remind myself its OK to not be on top of it all everyday. After a day or two things will return to normal. Sometimes us mommies just need a "veg out" break!

At 9:04 AM, Blogger Katherine@Raising Five said...

Oh, I am so with you on this one. My last few days before school started, I was treading water and sinking fast! It's getting better though. Hang int here!!


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I am a spontaneous, out going, daughter of the King, who is married to a wonderful guy who is a quiet, shy, non-spontaneous, scientist who also loves the Lord. Truly a match made in heaven! We fight and argue, love and laugh, every single day. I am passionate about orphan care and love to tell our story to anyone who will listen. This blog is dedicated to that journey.

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