Friday, May 04, 2007
my little stinker
I have a beautiful daughter. She is sweet and loving and I am so thankful for her little life. She was the easiest baby. Rarely cried, easy to comfort, quick to smile. She was everything a crazy mama of four other children could ask for. Sweet and easygoing.

She is now 3 and her personality has taken a turn for the worse, umm, I mean better?
She is the most strong willed 3 year old I have ever had. When it was time to take her off her bottle she cried for weeks, not days like the other children. We would just throw them away, wave bye bye, a few tears, and then on to the new cool cup. Not this girl. Temper tantrums raged for days on end. On day 6 the first time we tried we did what really bad parents do. We gave in and bought her a bottle. I could not take it a minute longer! Several weeks later I tried again and she did cry and cry but I stood my ground and after around 2 weeks she finally decided her new Dora the Explorer cup was OK. Yes, I said two weeks. This girl is seriously strong willed.

She is now 3 and a half years old and has no interest in the potty. I have a pretty layed back potty training method. We try for a few days and if the child isn't really interested we stop talking about it for a few days and then try again. If my other kids were ready it usually only took a few days. This child WILL NOT EVEN SIT ON THE POTTY. She cries when I try to put her on it. She acts genuinely scared. Am I being manipulated by the master or is there such a thing as a real potty "fear". With this being my 5th child I am really not all that concerned, I know she won't go to Kindergarten in diapers. I am just sort of at a loss for what to do. She basically starts to have a tantrum if I even mention sitting on the potty.

This makes me think of the bottle. This child does not like any kind of change. I told her big sister that if she could get her to go tinkle on the big potty I would pay her $20.00. Hey, I am desperate and little sister seems to like to do whatever big sis is doing.

I should also tell you that our youngest has been late for most developmental milestones. She did not sit up until 7 months, walk until 16 months, and has some speech delays. The doctors have told me not to worry because she is still in the "normal range" and they are not worried. Of course, I am concerned. I spent a good part of today looking at autism websites trying to figure out if she had any symptoms. My husband thinks I am crazy. This is a power struggle. Nothing less and nothing more. She had some symptoms, but most of my kids had the same ones and they are completely fine. Hubby is probably right.

When she does things like this I lean towards the idea that I am being majorly manipulated. She took a bath this morning and then ended up running around naked for a while while I was finishing up some house work. I checked on her and found that she had put a pull up on. By herself. Because she had to go pee pee. Couldn't she just have walked into the bathroom?

I might also add that I have purchased most potty training tools available. We have a cute Dora the Explorer cushy seat for the big potty, a cute Winnie the pooh little potty that makes a flushing sound, two stools to step up onto when using big potty, assorted stickers, charts, and balloons for rewards. None of this has worked so far.

OK, Internet mom's weigh in with your opinions. Give it to me. Please be kind and don't tell me I am the biggest loser Mom in the world. OK?


  posted at 6:29 AM  

At 4:27 AM, Blogger Heidi said...

I am in NO place to give advice on this, but I did think I would tell you that there was a little boy at our church (who was the youngest of 3 boys) at 3 1/2 who had some fear of the potty too. The parents were really laid back too, but just like you were worried that he couldn't go to preschool without being potty trained. I don't know exactly what age he was when he finally figured it out--but he did.

Personally, I love your idea of paying the older girl!!

My little boy likes going potty at someone elses house on the big toilet.

At 10:17 AM, Blogger Melanie said...

Totally OT, but CYE. You should have something from me. If not, check your spam/junk mail.

At 11:52 AM, Blogger Corrie said...

I have no advice, but I just want to say you are most certainly NOT the biggest loser mommy! You are a great mommy based on the fact that you are concerned!!! Keep up the good work and everything else will fall into place!
Have a great weekend!

At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Lori said...

Hey Julie...I've just tagged you! See my blog to play along.

At 2:25 PM, Blogger IRENE said...

You are doing verything that can be done. In my opinion it is time to step back. if you've checked with your GP and everything is OK with her, then you shouldn't worry. There is no way she is not going to use potty. Or drink from a beaker. I think it's what you suggest: a power struggle.
My second daughter is just like that. Stubborn and lovable. Did a male member of the family try to take over from you in a subtle way? Said daughter only reads when her daddy tells her so, or when her grandad sits next to her and sweet talks her. Another possibility is that she wants your full attention.And she has found a way to get it.
I hope everything works out well with you two!
Could you please stop by my blog? I have tagged you for a little meme!
Wishing you a lovely week end.

At 7:59 AM, Blogger Military Mommy said...

You are a great mommy. Don't second guess yourself - and definitely don't judge yourself based on your kids. :)

In my experience, you can't "force" a child to do anything before they are ready. I have a strong-willed daughter and have never been able to make her do anything until she was developmentally ready. Her timetable has hardly ever lined up with mine. ;)

Thinking of you, Michelle


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I am a spontaneous, out going, daughter of the King, who is married to a wonderful guy who is a quiet, shy, non-spontaneous, scientist who also loves the Lord. Truly a match made in heaven! We fight and argue, love and laugh, every single day. I am passionate about orphan care and love to tell our story to anyone who will listen. This blog is dedicated to that journey.

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